The Mississippi is Well worth Reading about.—It is Remarkable.—Instead of Widening towards its Mouth, it grows Narrower.—It Empties four hundred and six million Tons of Mud.—It was First Seen in 1542.—It is Older than some Pages in European History.—De Soto has the Pull.—Older than the Atlantic Coast.—Some Half-breeds chip in.—La Salle Thinks he will Take a Hand.
La Salle again Appears, and so does a Cat-fish.—Buffaloes also.—Some Indian Paintings are Seen on the Rocks.—“The Father of Waters” does not Flow into the Pacific.—More History and Indians.—Some Curious Performances—not Early English.—Natchez, or the Site of it, is Approached.
A little History.—Early Commerce.—Coal Fleets and Timber Rafts.—We start on a Voyage.—I seek Information.—Some Music.—The Trouble begins.—Tall Talk.—The Child of Calamity.—Ground and lofty Tumbling.—The Wash-up.—Business and Statistics.—Mysterious Band.—Thunder and Lightning.—The Captain speaks.—Allbright weeps.—The Mystery settled.—Chaff.—I am Discovered.—Some Art-work proposed.—I give an Account of Myself.—Released.
The Boys’ Ambition.—Village Scenes.—Steamboat Pictures.—A Heavy Swell.—A Runaway.
A Traveller.—A Lively Talker.—A Wild-cat Victim
Besieging the Pilot.—Taken along.—Spoiling a Nap.—Fishing for a Plantation.—”Points” on the River.—A Gorgeous Pilot-house.
River Inspectors.—Cottonwoods and Plum Point.—Hat-Island Crossing.—Touch and Go.—It is a Go.—A Lightning Pilot
A Heavy-loaded Big Gun.—Sharp Sights in Darkness.—Abandoned to his Fate.—Scraping the Banks.—Learn him or Kill him.
Shake the Reef.—Reason Dethroned.—The Face of the Water.—A Bewitching Scene.—Romance and Beauty.
Putting on Airs.—Taken down a bit.—Learn it as it is.—The River Rising.
In thg Tract Business.—Effects of the Rise.—Plantations gone.—A Measureless Sea.—A Somnambulist Pilot.—Supernatural Piloting.—Nobody there.—All Saved.
Low Water.—Yawl sounding.—Buoys and Lanterns.—Cubs and Soundings.—The Boat Sunk.—Seeking the Wrecked.
A Pilot’s Memory.—Wages soaring.—A Universal Grasp.—Skill and Nerve.—Testing a “Cub.”—“Back her for Life.”—A Good Lesson.
Pilots and Captains.—High-priced Pilots.—Pilots in Demand.—A Whistler.—A cheap Trade.—Two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar Speed.
New Pilots undermining the Pilots’ Association.—Crutches and Wages.—Putting on Airs.—The Captains Weaken.—The Association Laughs.—The Secret Sign.—An Admirable System.—Rough on Outsiders.—A Tight Monopoly.—No Loophole.—The Railroads and the War.
All Aboard.—A Glorious Start.—Loaded to Win.—Bands and Bugles.—Boats and Boats.—Racers and Racing.
Cut-offs.—Ditching and Shooting.—Mississippi Changes.—A Wild Night.—Swearing and Guessing.—Stephen in Debt.—He Confuses his Creditors.—He makes a New Deal.—Will Pay them Alphabetically.
Sharp Schooling.—Shadows.—I am Inspected.—Where did you get them Shoes?—Pull her Down.—I want to kill Brown.—I try to run her.—I am Complimented.
A Question of Veracity.—A Little Unpleasantness.—I have an Audience with the Captain.—Mr. Brown Retires.
I become a Passenger.—We hear the News.—A Thunderous Crash.—They Stand to their Posts.—In the Blazing Sun.—A Grewsome Spectacle.—His Hour has Struck.
I get my License.—The War Begins.—I become a Jack-of-all-trades.
I try the Alias Business.—Region of Goatees—Boots begin to Appear.—The River Man is Missing.—The Young Man is Discouraged.—Specimen Water.—A Fine Quality of Smoke.—A Supreme Mistake.—We Inspect the Town.—Desolation Way-traffic.—A Wood-yard.
Old French Settlements.—We start for Memphis.—Young Ladies and Russia-leather Bags.
I receive some Information.—Alligator Boats.—Alligator Talk.—She was a Rattler to go.—I am Found Out.
The Devil’s Oven and Table.—A Bombshell falls.—No Whitewash.—Thirty Years on the River.—Mississippi Uniforms.—Accidents and Casualties.—Two hundred Wrecks.—A Loss to Literature.—Sunday-Schools and Brick Masons.
War Talk.—I Tilt over Backwards.—Fifteen Shot-holes.—A Plain Story.—Wars and Feuds.—Darnell versus Watson.—A Gang and a Woodpile.—Western Grammar.—River Changes.—New Madrid.—Floods and Falls.
Tourists and their Note-books.—Captain Hall.—Mrs. Trollope’s Emotions.—Hon. Charles Augustus Murray’s Sentiment.—Captain Marryat’s Sensations.—Alexander Mackay’s Feelings.—Mr. Parkman Reports
Swinging down the River.—Named for Me.—Plum Point again.—Lights and Snag Boats.—Infinite Changes.—A Lawless River.—Changes and Jetties.—Uncle Mumford Testifies.—Pegging the River.—What the Government does.—The Commission.—Men and Theories.—”Had them Bad.”—Jews and Prices.
Murel’s Gang.—A Consummate Villain.—Getting Rid of Witnesses.—Stewart turns Traitor.—I Start a Rebellion.—I get a New Suit of Clothes.—We Cover our Tracks.—Pluck and Capacity.—A Good Samaritan City.—The Old and the New.
A Melancholy Picture.—On the Move.—River Gossip.—She Went By a-Sparklin’.—Amenities of Life.—A World of Misinformation.—Eloquence of Silence.—Striking a Snag.—Photographically Exact.—Plank Side-walks.
Mutinous Language.—The Dead-house.—Cast-iron German and Flexible English.—A Dying Man’s Confession.—I am Bound and Gagged.—I get Myself Free.—I Begin my Search.—The Man with one Thumb.—Red Paint and White Paper.—He Dropped on his Knees.—Fright and Gratitude.—I Fled through the Woods.—A Grisly Spectacle.—Shout, Man, Shout.—A look of Surprise and Triumph.—The Muffled Gurgle of a Mocking Laugh.—How strangely Things happen.—The Hidden Money.
Ritter’s Narrative.—A Question of Money.—Napoleon.—Somebody is Serious.—Where the Prettiest Girl used to Live.
A Question of Division.—A Place where there was no License.—The Calhoun Land Company.—A Cotton-planter’s Estimate.—Halifax and Watermelons.—Jewelled-up Bar-keepers.
An Austere Man.—A Mosquito Policy.—Facts dressed in Tights.—A swelled Left Ear.
Signs and Scars.—Cannon-thunder Rages.—Cave-dwellers.—A Continual Sunday.—A ton of Iron and no Glass.—The Ardent is Saved.—Mule Meat—A National Cemetery.—A Dog and a Shell.—Railroads and Wealth.—Wharfage Economy.—Vicksburg versus The “Gold Dust.”—A Narrative in Anticipation.
The Professor Spins a Yarn.—An Enthusiast in Cattle.—He makes a Proposition.—Loading Beeves at Acapulco.—He was n’t Raised to it.—He is Roped In.—His Dull Eyes Lit Up.—Four Aces, you Ass!—He does n’t Care for the Gores.
A Terrible Disaster.—The “Gold Dust” explodes her Boilers.—The End of a Good Man.
Mr. Dickens has a Word.—Best Dwellings and their Furniture.—Albums and Music.—Pantelettes and Conch-shells.—Sugar-candy Rabbits and Photographs.—Horse-hair Sofas and Snuffers.—Rag Carpets and Bridal Chambers.
Rowdies and Beauty.—Ice as Jewelry.—Ice Manufacture.—More Statistics.—Some Drummers.—Oleomargarine versus Butter.—Olive Oil versus Cotton Seed.—The Answer was not Caught.—A Terrific Episode.—A Sulphurous Canopy.—The Demons of War.—The Terrible Gauntlet.
In Flowers, like a Bride.—A White-washed Castle.—A Southern Prospectus.—Pretty Pictures.—An Alligator’s Meal.
The Approaches to New Orleans.—A Stirring Street.—Sanitary Improvements.—Journalistic Achievements.—Cisterns and Wells.
Beautiful Grave-yards.—Chameleons and Panaceas.—Inhumation and Infection.—Mortality and Epidemics.—The Cost of Funerals.
I meet an Acquaintance.—Coffins and Swell Houses.—Mrs. O’Flaherty goes One Better.—Epidemics and Embamming.—Six hundred for a Good Case.—Joyful High Spirits.
French and Spanish Parts of the City.—Mr. Cable and the Ancient Quarter.—Cabbages and Bouquets.—Cows and Children.—The Shell Road. The West End.—A Good Square Meal.—The Pompano.—The Broom-Brigade.—Historical Painting.—Southern Speech.—Lagniappe.
“Waw” Talk.—Cock-Fighting.—Too Much to Bear.—Fine Writing.—Mule Racing.
Mardi-Gras.—The Mystic Crewe.—Rex and Relics.—Sir Walter Scott.—A World Set Back.—Titles and Decorations.—A Change.
Uncle Remus.—The Children Disappointed.—We Read Aloud.—Mr. Cable and Jean au Poquelin.—Involuntary Trespass.—The Gilded Age.—An Impossible Combination.—The Owner Materializes and Protests.
Tight Curls and Springy Steps.—Steam-plows.—“No. 1.” Sugar.—A Frankenstein Laugh.—Spiritual Postage.—A Place where there are no Butchers or Plumbers.—Idiotic Spasms.
Pilot-Farmers.—Working on Shares.—Consequences.—Men who Stick to their Posts.—He saw what he would do.—A Day after the Fair.
A Patriarch.—Leaves from a Diary.—A Tongue-stopper.—The Ancient Mariner.—Pilloried in Print.—Petrified Truth.
A Fresh “Cub” at the Wheel.—A Valley Storm.—Some Remarks on Construction.—Sock and Buskin.—The Man who never played Hamlet.—I got Thirsty.—Sunday Statistics.
I Collar an Idea.—A Graduate of Harvard.—A Penitent Thief.—His Story in the Pulpit.—Something Symmetrical.—A Literary Artist.—A Model Epistle.—Pumps again Working.—The “Nub” of the Note.
A Masterly Retreat.—A Town at Rest.—Boyhood’s Pranks.—Friends of my Youth.—The Refuge for Imbeciles.—I am Presented with my Measure.
A Special Judgment.—Celestial Interest.—A Night of Agony.—Another Bad Attack.—I become Convalescent.—I address a Sunday-school.—A Model Boy.
A second Generation.—A hundred thousand Tons of Saddles.—A Dark and Dreadful Secret.—A Large Family.—A Golden-haired Darling.—The Mysterious Cross.—My Idol is Broken.—A Bad Season of Chills and Fever.—An Interesting Cave.
Perverted History—A Guilty Conscience.—A Supposititious Case.—A Habit to be Cultivated.—I Drop my Burden.—Difference in Time.
A Model Town.—A Town that Comes up to Blow in the Summer.—The Scare-crow Dean.—Spouting Smoke and Flame.—An Atmosphere that tastes good.—The Sunset Land.
An Independent Race.—Twenty-four-hour Towns.—Enchanting Scenery.—The Home of the Plow.—Black Hawk.—Fluctuating Securities.—A Contrast.—Electric Lights.
Indian Traditions and Rattlesnakes.—A Three-ton Word.—Chimney Rock.—The Panorama Man.—A Good Jump.—The Undying Head.—Peboan and Seegwun.
The Head of Navigation.—From Roses to Snow.—Climatic Vaccination.—A Long Ride.—Bones of Poverty.—The Pioneer of Civilization.—Jug of Empire.—Siamese Twins.—The Sugar-bush.—He Wins his Bride.—The Mystery about the Blanket.—A City that is always a Novelty.—Home again.
THE ‘BODY OF THE NATION’
BUT the basin of the Mississippi is the BODY OF THE NATION. All the other parts are but members, important in themselves, yet more important in their relations to this. Exclusive of the Lake basin and of 300,000 square miles in Texas and New Mexico, which in many aspects form a part of it, this basin contains about 1,250,000 square miles. In extent it is the second great valley of the world, being exceeded only by that of the Amazon. The valley of the frozen Obi approaches it in extent; that of La Plata comes next in space, and probably in habitable capacity, having about eight-ninths of its area; then comes that of the Yenisei, with about seven-ninths; the Lena, Amoor, Hoang-ho, Yang-tse-kiang, and Nile, five-ninths; the Ganges, less than one-half; the Indus, less than one-third; the Euphrates, one-fifth; the Rhine, one-fifteenth. It exceeds in extent the whole of Europe, exclusive of Russia, Norway, and Sweden. IT WOULD CONTAIN AUSTRIA FOUR TIMES, GERMANY OR SPAIN FIVE TIMES, FRANCE SIX TIMES, THE BRITISH ISLANDS OR ITALY TEN TIMES. Conceptions formed from the river-basins of Western Europe are rudely shocked when we consider the extent of the valley of the Mississippi; nor are those formed from the sterile basins of the great rivers of Siberia, the lofty plateaus of Central Asia, or the mighty sweep of the swampy Amazon more adequate. Latitude, elevation, and rainfall all combine to render every part of the Mississippi Valley capable of supporting a dense population. AS A DWELLING-PLACE FOR CIVILIZED MAN IT IS BY FAR THE FIRST UPON OUR GLOBE.
EDITOR’S TABLE, HARPER’S MAGAZINE, FEBRUARY 1863