Clerk in employ of
    “Shoddy and Woods”,
Thinks that we have not
    Forwarded goods.
Parcel we sent them—
    Missing, I learn,
Says in his postscript:
    “Write by return.”

Here is another
    Letter from Bland—
“Cheque he expected
    Isn’t to hand.”
How we forgot it
    Cannot discern,
“Forward remittance,
    Write by return.”

Here is another—
    O how they come?
Treats of a “Bender”
    Planned by a chum.
See on the margin,
    Big letters: “Burn
After perusal—
    Write by return.”

Mail in from England,
    Letters for me—
Dear little sweetheart
    Over the sea.
“Quite broken-hearted,
    O how I yearn
Only to see you. . . . 
    Write by return.”

One who will “never
    Think that I’m bad”
Writes me a letter
    Tearful and sad.
Thinks that I’m starving,
    Filled with concern,
Sends me some money—
    “Write by return.”

Letter from father,
    Sent to his son,
“All is forgiven—
    Fat calf for one.”
O that I ever
    Thought he was stern—
Money for passage—
    Write by return.