Dedication

Chapter I.

The Party—Across America to Vancouver—On Board the Warrimo—Steamer Chairs—The Captain—Going Home under a Cloud—A Gritty Purser—The Brightest Passenger—Remedy for Bad Habits—The Doctor and the Lumbago—A Moral Pauper—Limited Smoking—Remittance-men.

Chapter II.

Change of Costume—Fish, Snake, and Boomerang Stories—Tests of Memory—A Brahmin Expert—General Grant’s Memory—A Delicately Improper Tale

Chapter III.

Honolulu—Reminiscences of the Sandwich Islands—King Liholiho and His Royal Equipment—The Tabu—The Population of the Island—A Kanaka Diver—Cholera at Honolulu—Honolulu; Past and Present—The Leper Colony

Chapter IV.

Leaving Honolulu—Flying-fish—Approaching the Equator—Why the Ship Went Slow—The Front Yard of the Ship—Crossing the Equator—Horse Billiards or Shovel Board—The Waterbury Watch—Washing Decks—Ship Painters—The Great Meridian—The Loss of a Day—A Babe without a Birthday

Chapter V.

A lesson in Pronunciation—Reverence for Robert Burns—The Southern Cross—Troublesome Constellations—Victoria for a Name—Islands on the Map—Alofa and Fortuna—Recruiting for the Queensland Plantations—Captain Warren’s NoteBook—Recruiting not thoroughly Popular

Chapter VI.

Missionaries Obstruct Business—The Sugar Planter and the Kanaka—The Planter’s View—Civilizing the Kanaka—The Missionary’s View—The Result—Repentant Kanakas—Wrinkles—The Death Rate in Queensland

Chapter VII.

The Fiji Islands—Suva—The Ship from Duluth—Going Ashore—Midwinter in Fiji—Seeing the Governor—Why Fiji was Ceded to England—Old time Fijians—Convicts among the Fijians—A Case Where Marriage was a Failure—Immortality with Limitations

Chapter VIII.

A Wilderness of Islands—Two Men without a Country—A Naturalist from New Zealand—The Fauna of Australasia—Animals, Insects, and Birds—The Ornithorhynchus—Poetry and Plagiarism

Chapter IX.

Close to Australia—Porpoises at Night—Entrance to Sydney Harbor—The Loss of the Duncan Dunbar—The Harbor—The City of Sydney—Spring-time in Australia—The Climate—Information for Travelers—The Size of Australia—A Dust-Storm and Hot Wind

Chapter X.

The Discovery of Australia—Transportation of Convicts—Discipline—English Laws, Ancient and Modern—Flogging Prisoners to Death—Arrival of Settlers—New South Wales Corps—Rum Currency—Intemperance Everywhere—$100,000 for One Gallon of Rum—Development of the Country—Immense Resources

Chapter XI.

Hospitality of English-speaking People—Writers and their Gratitude—Mr. Gane and the Panegyrics—Population of Sydney An English City with American Trimming—”Squatters”—Palaces and Sheep Kingdoms—Wool and Mutton—Australians and Americans—Costermonger Pronunciation—England is “Home”—Table Talk—English and Colonial Audiences

Chapter XII.

Mr. X., a Missionary—Why Christianity Makes Slow Progress in India—A Large Dream—Hindoo Miracles and Legends—Sampson and Hanuman—The Sandstone Ridge—Where are the Gates?

Chapter XIII.

Public Works in Australasia—Botanical Garden of Sydney—Four Special Socialties—The Government House—A Governor and His Functions—The Admiralty House—The Tour of the Harbor—Shark Fishing—Cecil Rhodes’ Shark and his First Fortune—Free Board for Sharks.

Chapter XIV.

Bad Health—To Melbourne by Rail—Maps Defective—The Colony of Victoria—A Round-trip Ticket from Sydney—Change Cars, from Wide to Narrow Gauge, a Peculiarity at Albury—Customs-fences—̴My Word”—The Blue Mountains—Rabbit Piles—Government R. R. Restaurants—Duchesses for Waiters—“Sheep-dip”—Railroad Coffee—Things Seen and Not Seen

Chapter XV.

Wagga-Wagga—The Tichborne Claimant—A Stock Mystery—The Plan of the Romance—The Realization—The Henry Bascom Mystery—Bascom Hall—The Author’s Death and Funeral

Chapter XVI.

Melbourne and its Attractions—The Melbourne Cup Races—Cup Day—Great Crowds—Clothes Regardless of Cost—The Australian Larrikin—Is He Dead?—Australian Hospitality—Melbourne Wool-brokers—The Museums—The Palaces—The Origin of Melbourne

Chapter XVII.

The British Empire—Its Exports and Imports—The Trade of Australia—To Adelaide—Broken Hill Silver Mine—A Roundabout road—The Scrub and its Possibilities for the Novelist—The Aboriginal Tracker—A Test Case—How Does One Cow-Track Differ from Another?

Chapter XVIII.

The Gum Trees—Unsociable Trees—Gorse and Broom—A universal Defect—An Adventurer—Wanted £200, got £20,000,000—A Vast Land Scheme—The Smash-up—The Corpse Got Up and Danced—A Unique Business by One Man—Buying the Kangaroo Skin—The Approach to Adelaide—Everything Comes to Him who Waits—A Healthy Religious Atmosphere—What is the Matter with the Specter?

Chapter XIX.

The Botanical Gardens—Contributions from all Countries—The Zoological Gardens of Adelaide—The Laughing Jackass—The Dingo—A Misnamed Province—Telegraphing from Melbourne to San Francisco—A Mania for Holidays—The Temperature—The Death Rate—Celebration of the Reading of the Proclamation of 1836—Some old Settlers at the Commemoration—Their Staying Powers—The Intelligence of the Aboriginal—The Antiquity of the Boomerang

Chapter XX.

A Caller—A Talk about Old Times—The Fox Hunt—An Accurate Judgment of an Idiot—How We Passed the Custom Officers in Italy

Chapter XXI.

The “Weet-Weet”—Keeping down the Population—Victoria—Killing the Aboriginals—Pioneer Days in Queensland—Material for a Drama—The Bush—Pudding with Arsenic—Revenge—A Right Spirit but a Wrong Method—Death of Donga Billy

Chapter XXII.

Continued Description of Aboriginals—Manly Qualities—Dodging Balls—Feats of Spring—Jumping—Where the Kangaroo Learned its Art—Well Digging—Endurance—Surgery—Artistic Abilities—Fennimore Cooper’s Last Chance—Australian Slang

Chapter XXIII.

To Horsham (Colony of Victoria)—Description of Horsham—At the Hotel—Pepper Tree-The Agricultural College, Forty Pupils—High Temperature—Width of Road in Chains, Perches, etc.—The Bird with a Forgettable Name—The Magpie and the Lady—Fruit Trees—Soils—Sheep Shearing—To Stawell—Gold Mining Country—$75,000 per Month Income and able to Keep House—Fine Grapes and Wine—The Dryest Community on Earth—The Three Sisters—Gum Trees and Water

Chapter XXIV.

Road to Ballarat—The City—Great Gold Strike, 1851—Rush for Australia—“Great Nuggets”—Taxation—Revolt and Victory—Peter Lalor and the Eureka Stockade—“Pencil Mark”—Fine Statuary at Ballarat—Population—Ballarat English

Chapter XXV.

Bound for Bendigo—The Priest at Castlemaine—Time Saved by Walking—Description of Bendigo—A Valuable Nugget—Perseverence and Success—Mr. Blank and His Influence—Conveyance of an Idea—I Had to Like the Irishman—Corrigan Castle, and the Mark Twain Club—My Bascom Mystery Solved

Chapter XXVI.

Where New Zealand Is—But Few Know—Things People Think They Know—The Yale Professor and His Visitor from N.Z.

Chapter XXVII.

The South Pole Swell—Tasmania—Extermination of the Natives—The Picture Proclamation—The Conciliator—The Formidable Sixteen

Chapter XXVIII.

When the Moment Comes the Man Appears—Why Ed. Jackson called on Commodore Vanderbilt—Their Interview—Welcome to the Child of His Friend—A Big Time but under Inspection—Sent on Important Business—A Visit to the Boys on the Boat

Chapter XXIX.

Tasmania, Early Days—Description of the Town of Hobart—An Englishman’s Love of Home Surroundings—Neatest City on Earth—The Museum—A Parrot with an Acquired Taste—Glass Arrow Beads—Refuge for the Indigent too healthy

Chapter XXX.

Arrival at Bluff, N. Z.—Where the Rabbit Plague Began—The Natural Enemy of the Rabbit—Dunedin—A Lovely Town—Visit to Dr. Hockin—His Museum—A Liquified Caterpillar—The Unperfected Tape Worm—The Public Museum and Picture Gallery

Chapter XXXI.

The Express Train—“A Hell of a Hotel at Maryborough”—Clocks and Bells—Railroad Service.

Chapter XXXII.

Description of the Town of Christ Church—A Fine Museum—Jade-stone Trinkets—The Great Moa—The First Maori in New Zealand—Women Voters—”Person” in New Zealand Law Includes Woman—Taming an Ornithorhynchus—A Voyage in the ‘Flora’ from Lyttelton—Cattle Stalls for Everybody—A Wonderful Time.

Chapter XXXIII.

The Town of Nelson—“The Mongatapu Murders,” the Great Event of the Town—Burgess’ Confession—Summit of Mount Eden—Rotorua and the Hot Lakes and Geysers—Thermal Springs District—Kauri Gum—Tangariwa Mountains

Chapter XXXIV.

The Bay of Gisborne—Taking in Passengers by the Yard Arm—The Green Ballarat Fly—False Teeth—From Napier to Hastings by the Ballarat Fly Train—Kauri Trees—A Case of Mental Telegraphy

Chapter XXXV.

Fifty Miles in Four Hours—Comfortable Cars—Town of Wauganui—Plenty of Maoris—On the Increase—Compliments to the Maoris—The Missionary Ways all Wrong—The Tabu among the Maoris—A Mysterious Sign—Curious War-monuments—Wellington

Chapter XXXVI.

The Poems of Mrs. Moore—The Sad Fate of William Upson—A Fellow Traveler Imitating the Prince of Wales—A Would-be Dude—Arrival at Sydney—Curious Town Names with Poem

Chapter XXXVII.

From Sydney for Ceylon—A Lascar Crew—A Fine Ship—Three Cats and a Basket of Kittens—Dinner Conversations—Veuve Cliquot Wine—At Anchor in King George’s Sound Albany Harbor—More Cats—A Vulture on Board—Nearing the Equator again—Dressing for Dinner—Ceylon, Hotel Bristol—Servant Brampy—A Feminine Man—Japanese Jinriksha or Cart—Scenes in Ceylon—A Missionary School—Insincerity of Clothes

Chapter XXXVIII.

Steamer Rosetta to Bombay—Limes 14 cents a Barrel—Bombay, a Bewitching City—Descriptions of People and Dress—Woman as a Road Decoration—India, the Land of Dreams and Romance—Fourteen Porters to Carry Baggage—Correcting a Servant—Killing a Slave—Arranging a Bedroom—Three Hours’ Work and a Terrible Racket—The Bird of Birds, the Indian Crow

Chapter XXXIX.

God Vishnu, 108 Names—Change of Titles or Hunting for an Heir—Bombay as a Kaleidoscope—The Native’s Man Servant—Servants’ Recommendations—How Manuel got his Name and his English—Satan—A Visit from God

Chapter XL.

The Government House at Malabar Point—Mansion of Kumar Shri Samatsin Hji Bahadur—The Indian Princess—A Difficult Game—Wardrobe and Jewels—Ceremonials—Decorations when Leaving—The Towers of Silence—A Funeral

Chapter XLI.

A Jain Temple—Mr. Roychand’s Bungalow—A Decorated Six-Gun Prince—Human Fireworks—European Dress, Past and Present—Complexions—Advantages with the Zulu—Festivities at the Bungalow—Nautch Dancers—Entrance of the Prince—Address to the Prince

Chapter XLII.

A Hindoo Betrothal, midnight, Sleepers on the ground, Home of the Bride of Twelve Years Dressed as a Boy—Illumination—Nautch Girls—Imitating Snakes—Later—Illuminated Porch Filled with Sleepers—The Plague

Chapter XLIII.

Murder Trial in Bombay—Confidence Swindlers—Some Specialities of India—The Plague, Juggernaut, Suttee, etc.—Everything on Gigantic Scale—India First in Everything—80 States, more Custom Houses than Cats—Rich Ground for Thug Society

Chapter XLIV.

Official Thug Book—Supplies for Traveling, Bedding, and other Freight—Scene at Railway Station—Making Way for White Man—Waiting Passengers, High and Low Caste, Touch in the cars—Our Car—Beds made up—Dreaming of Thugs—Baroda—Meet Friends—Indian Well—The Old Town—Narrow Streets—A Mad Elephant

Chapter XLV.

Elephant Riding—Howdahs—The New Palace—The Prince’s Excursion—Gold and Silver Artillery—A Vice-royal Visit—Remarkable Dog—The Bench Show—Augustin Daly’s Back Door—Fakeer

Chapter XLVI.

The Thugs—Government Efforts to Exterminate them—Choking a Victim—A Fakeer Spared—Thief Strangled

Chapter XLVII.

Thugs, Continued—Record of Murders—A Joy of Hunting and Killing Men—Gordon Cumming—Killing an Elephant—Family Affection among Thugs—Burial Places

Chapter XLVIII.

Starting for Allahabad—Lower Berths in Sleepers—Elderly Ladies have Preference of Berths—An American Lady Takes One Anyhow—How Smythe Lost his Berth—How He Got Even—The Suttee

Chapter XLIX.

Pyjamas—Day Scene in India—Clothed in a Turban and a Pocket Handkerchief—Land Parceled Out—Established Village Servants—Witches in Families—Hereditary Midwifery—Destruction of Girl Babies—Wedding Display—Tiger-Persuader—Hailstorm Discouragers—The Tyranny of the Sweeper—Elephant Driver—Water Carrier—Curious Rivers—Arrival at Allahabad—English Quarter—Lecture Hall Like a Snowstorm—Private Carriages—A Milliner—Early Morning—The Squatting Servant—A Religious Fair

Chapter L.

On the Road to Benares—Dust and Waiting—The Bejeweled Crowd—A Native Prince and his Guard—Zenana Lady—The Extremes of Fashion—The Hotel at Benares—An Annex a Mile Away—Doors in India—The Peepul Tree—Warning against Cold Baths—A Strange Fruit—Description of Benares—The Beginning of Creation—Pilgrims to Benares—A Priest with a Good Business Stand—Protestant Missionary—The Trinity Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu—Religion the Business at Benares

Chapter LI.

Benares a Religious Temple—A Guide for Pilgrims to Save Time in Securing Salvation

Chapter LII.

A Curious Way to Secure Salvation—The Banks of the Ganges—Architecture Represents Piety—A Trip on the River—Bathers and their Costumes—Drinking the Water—A Scientific Test of the Nasty Purifier—Hindoo Faith in the Ganges—A Cremation—Remembrances of the Suttee—All Life Sacred Except Human Life—The Goddess Bhowanee, and the Sacrificers—Sacred Monkeys—Ugly Idols Everywhere—Two White Minarets—A Great View with a Monkey in it—A Picture on the Water

Chapter LIII.

Still in Benares—Another Living God—Why Things are Wonderful—Sri 108—Utterly Perfect—How He Came so—Our Visit to Sri—A Friendly Deity Exchanging Autographs and Books—Sri’s Pupil—An Interesting Man—Reverence and Irreverence—Dancing in a Sepulchre

Chapter LIV.

Rail to Calcutta—Population—The “City of Palaces”—A Fluted Candle-stick—Ochterlony—Newspaper Correspondence—Average Knowledge of Countries—A Wrong Idea of Chicago—Calcutta and the Black Hole—Description of the Horrors—Those Who Lived—The Botanical Gardens—The Afternoon Turnout—Grand Review—Military Tournament—Excursion on the Hoogly—The Museum—What Winter Means in Calcutta

Chapter LV.

On the Road Again—Flannels in Order—Across Country—From Greenland’s Icy Mountain—Swapping Civilization—No Field women in India—How it is in Other Countries—Canvas-covered Cars—The Tiger Country—My First Hunt—Some Wild Elephants Get Away—The Plains of India—The Ghurkas—Women for Pack-Horses—A Substitute for a Cab—Darjeeling—The Hotel—The Highest Thing in the Himalayas—The Club—Kinchinjunga and Mt. Everest—Thibetans—The Prayer Wheel—People Going to the Bazar

Chapter LVI.

On the Road Again—The Hand-Car—A Thirty-five-mile Slide—The Banyan Tree—A Dramatic Performance—The Railroad Loop—The Half-way House—The Brain Fever Bird—The Coppersmith Bird—Nightingales and Cue Owls

Chapter LVII.

India the Most Extraordinary Country on Earth—Nothing Forgotten—The Land of Wonders—Annual Statistics Everywhere about Violence—Tiger vs. Man—A Handsome Fight—Annual Man Killing and Tiger Killing—Other Animals—Snakes—Insurance and Snake Tables—The Cobra Bite—Muzaffurpore—Dinapore—A Train that Stopped for Gossip—Six Hours for Thirty-five Miles—A Rupee to the Engineer—Ninety Miles an Hour—Again to Benares, the Piety Hiv—To Lucknow

Chapter LVIII.

The Great Mutiny—The Massacre in Cawnpore—Terrible Scenes in Lucknow—The Residency—The Siege

Chapter LIX.

A Visit to the Residency—Cawnpore—The Adjutant Bird and the Hindoo Corpse—The Taj Mahal—The True Conception—The Ice Storm—True Gems—Syrian Fountains—An Exaggerated Niagara

Chapter LX.

To Lahore—The Governor’s Elephant—Taking a Ride—No Danger from Collision—Rawal Pindi—Back to Delhi—An Orientalized Englishman—Monkeys and the Paint-pot—Monkey Crying over my Note-book—Arrival at Jeypore—In Rajputana—Watching Servants—The Jeypore Hotel—Our Old and New Satan—Satan as a Liar—The Museum—A Street Show—Blocks of Houses—A Religious Procession

Chapter LXI.

Methods in American Deaf and Dumb Asylums—Methods in the Public Schools—A Letter from a Youth in Punjab—Highly Educated Service—A Damage to the Country—A Little Book from Calcutta—Writing Poor English—Embarrassed by a Beggar Girl—A Specimen Letter—An Application for Employment—A Calcutta School Examination—Two Samples of Literature

Chapter LXII.

Sail from Calcutta to Madras—Thence to Ceylon—Thence for Mauritius—The Indian Ocean—Our Captain’s Peculiarity—The Scot Has One too—The Flying-fish that Went Hunting in the Field—Fined for Smuggling—Lots of Pets on Board—The Color of the Sea—The Most Important Member of Nature’s Family—The Captain’s Story of Cold Weather—Omissions in the Ship’s Library—Washing Decks—Pyjamas on Deck—The Cat’s Toilet—No Interest in the Bulletin—Perfect Rest—The Milky Way and the Magellan Clouds—Mauritius—Port Louis—A Hot Country—Under French Control—A Variety of People and Complexions—Train to Curepipe—A Wonderful Office-holder—The Wooden Peg Ornament—The Prominent Historical Event of Mauritius—”Paul and Virginia”—One of Virginia’s Wedding Gifts—Heaven Copied after Mauritius—Early History of Mauritius—Quarantines—Population of all Kinds—What the World Consists of—Where Russia and Germany are—A Picture of Milan Cathedral—Newspapers—The Language—Best Sugar in the World—Literature of Mauritius

Chapter LXIII.

Port Louis—Matches no Good—Good Roads—Death Notices—Why European Nations Rob Each Other—What Immigrants to Mauritius Do—Population—Labor Wages—The Camaron—The Palmiste and other Eatables—Monkeys—The Cyclone of 1892—Mauritius a Sunday Landscape

Chapter LXIV.

The Steamer “Arundel Castle”—Poor Beds in Ships—The Beds in Noah’s Ark—Getting a Rest in Europe—Ship in Sight—Mozambique Channel—The Engineer and the Band—Thackeray’s “Madagascar”—Africanders Going Home—Singing on the After Deck—An Out-of-Place Story—Dynamite Explosion in Johannesburg—Entering Delagoa Bay—Ashore—A Hot Winter—Small Town—No Sights—No Carriages—Working Women—Barnum’s Purchase of Shakespeare’s Birthplace, Jumbo, and the Nelson Monument—Arrival at Durban

Chapter LXV.

Royal Hotel Durban—Bells that Did not Ring—Early Inquiries for Comforts—Change of Temperature after Sunset—Rickhaws—The Hotel Chameleon—Natives not out after the Bell—Preponderance of Blacks in Natal—Hair Fashions in Natal—Zulus for Police—A Drive round the Berea—The Cactus and other Trees—Religion a Vital Matter—Peculiar Views about Babies—Zulu Kings—A Trappist Monastery—Transvaal Politics—Reasons why the Trouble came About

Chapter LXVI.

Jameson over the Border—His Defeat and Capture—Sent to England for Trial—Arrest of Citizens by the Boers—Commuted Sentences—Final Release of all but Two—Interesting Days for a Stranger—Hard to Understand Either Side—What the Reformers Expected to Accomplish—How They Proposed to Do it—Testimonies a Year Later—A “Woman’s Part”—The Truth of the South African Situation—“Jameson’s Ride”—A Poem

Chapter LXVII.

Jameson’s Raid—The Reform Committee’s Difficult Task—Possible Plans—Advice that Jameson Ought to Have—The War of 1881 and its Lessons—Statistics of Losses of the Combatants—Jameson’s Battles—Losses on Both Sides—The Military Errors—How the Warfare Should Have Been Carried on to Be Successful

Chapter LXVIII.

Judicious Mr. Rhodes—What South Africa Consists of—Johannesburg—The Gold Mines—The Heaven of American Engineers—What the Author Knows about Mining—Description of the Boer—What Should be Expected of Him—What Was A Dizzy Jump for Rhodes—Taxes—Rhodesian Method of Reducing Native Population—Journeying in Cape Colony—The Cars—The Country—The Weather—Tamed Blacks—Familiar Figures in King William’s Town—Boer Dress—Boer Country Life—Sleeping Accommodations—The Reformers in Boer Prison—Torturing a Black Prisoner

Chapter LXIX.

An Absorbing Novelty—The Kimberley Diamond Mines—Discovery of Diamonds—The Wronged Stranger—Where the Gems Are—A Judicious Change of Boundary—Modern Machinery and Appliances—Thrilling Excitement in Finding a Diamond—Testing a Diamond—Fences—Deep Mining by Natives in the Compound—Stealing—Reward for the Biggest Diamond—A Fortune in Wine—The Great Diamond—Office of the De Beer Co.—Sorting the Gems—Cape Town—The Most Imposing Man in British Provinces—Various Reasons for his Supremacy—How He Makes Friends

Conclusion.

Table Rock—Table Bay—The Castle—Government and Parliament—The Club—Dutch Mansions and their Hospitality—Dr. John Barry and his Doings—On the Ship Norman—Madeira—Arrived in Southampton